; simplicity-

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Haha chinese today was epic. There were three teachers who came in to observe how our teacher taught. (Dunno why they needed three, last time with lee cherh I think only one?). Then everyone's mood changed once the older lady who looks like mrs chor was saying 拿椅子 in some accent. The people around me were like complaining 'so authoritative', '!@#$'. Then tang lao shi was standing there to teach the flower poem. And I think no one played cellphone during that period and no one slept haha :). For me I was like randoming there, hope I don't get too much attention. After the three teachers got out some ppl raised the finger behind her. Then everyone was cheering when they got out. Then we were talking to the chinese teacher, then she say xie xie.

* meeh-
4:32 AM

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

When others are being unfair to you, why should you be fair to them? If they do not help you in times of need, go ahead and be daring enough to reject their lies. All a pack of lies.

Freaking unfair. They classify me with that person. Wow. Group work is more of a segregation between the elitist and the non-elitist. Now I am being classified right at the bottom. Amazing they still remember my grades from last year. Was I not contributing? Name when. You classify me with him. Fine. Go ahead. I will retaliate with all methods at all costs. Complain like I did in the past and make one whole group never able to enjoy higher authority.

Kicking me away precisely means that you all are discriminating me. The road seems hopeless. I am on the verge of complete collapse. I don't deserve this sort of treatment. This is just damn unfair. Kick me aside because you all think that I am an easy solution to the problem and that I shut up the whole time. freaking unfair. I will retaliate.

* meeh-
7:24 AM

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Sadly jap test coming so fast. My last chance of ever continuing 3rd lang is now. Get a good grade and I may continue on, get a bad one then bury myself alive. And my grades are sucky as compared to the ring of fire surrounding me. Yes, ring of fire. All high grades sia. Got some are 3.87, got some are 3.93 i think, 3.8 also have. So sad. Hope I get top 10 though I think it's quite impossible.

Anyway geog peer evaluation was on friday. My group which was obviously unelitist had quite a sad case. Leader Vaikunth was good, contrary to what Mrs Ramesh said. He did lots of work though I must agree that he's a little sick sometimes haha. Now move on to Syahid. Chionged quite a lot during the last day of the performance task, though have slight delays but then in general was alright. At least the attitude was there. Now turn the camera to Sathya. Came for the meeting, did work as well and punctual I guess (1 minute late in sending the email, not that late right?). Now for the irritating person who gave me a ten for peer evaluation. First he told our group that he had to do his scouts and history reflections which he was SUPPOSED to have be doing or done during the history meeting since he had so much free time. Hence handing up of his part was delayed by quite a number of days. Ok, let's assume this was just a malfunction somewhere. Next, geography meeting. Vaikunth sent him an email at 9pm friday to tell everyone to meet at Saturday (According to Sathya he called as well.) The next day, had I not went to school I would not have believed it myself. He went for scouts profis instead of geography meeting. In school I saw a lot of scouts people upstairs on the third level of admin block. I did not see him there though I highly predicted that he was there. Correct. What an accurate sixth sense. I decided to message him. No response despite repeated sending. Ok, so Sathya and I called him at different timings. He went and reject call. Fine, cannot do anything right, so when I went home I went and check fb. 'had a lot of interesting conversations during profis, maybe I should try for more.' What does 'try for more' mean? It means it's a volunteer activity. When there is an urgent geography meeting he went and go for profis. Yes, they are important, but it's appears to be volunteer and if you can try for more means you can try on other dates right? So I scolded him. He responded by not answering to the question.

Now, peer evaluation. My grades got burnt thanks to him. Give me a 10/15 for peer evaluation while giving the rest higher because I scolded to uphold fairness. I would have given him a fail if I were to go by my heart's will. In fact a 6.5 or 7/15. Last year you tore my geography grades apart. Arguing when I emphasized to follow the rubrics and use simpler English, resulting in a complete failure. Sympathy marks only.

About some others. Throw me outside your circle and secure the benefits between yourselves while ignoring the role I played. You all chased me out of your circle long ago. I want justice being done to myself. Maybe if I exposed what you all really did to me I could prove a point.

* meeh-
12:47 AM

Thursday, July 22, 2010

MVs actually show a different side of the song. The song lets you interpret in how to way it is being sung. MV forces you to take a certain side. E.g 对的人 by 戴爱玲 the song is quite good, but the mv is sucky. When you can imagine a much better mv in your head. She flying like halfway in the air. Then next fast forward into the future. Might has well have her running to the top of the cliff or something, works better. Song good but mv ruins it.

Either way I still like some MVs, especially 张惠妹's and 丁当's. All are very good. Today was a good day other than RC who kept on complaining from the back about me (which I am already immune to due to long term sourness). And no for drama challenge I don't want to be the actor please. I know my acting is damn lousy except when reading Chinese poem in a ancient voice, but still that sucked. I see what role they gonna assign me. The lawyer one? Then I start writing like how I wrote long court letters in 6B muhahahaha. Especially Chadric's divorce case, I write there that he must pay damn lot of divorce fee. Then li lao shi put in on the notice board of the class. Luckily din let the whole school see, or else I'd been doomed.

Now I only think of the past. What wonders. Last time I could not wait for the future. Now when they play school song I think of wen hua ge and pcps song, but unfortunately I forgot like half the thing. Or maybe more. Last time return home at 12.30pm and I find it late, now 6+ 7+ cannot do anything.

Maybe I should be a bit more optimistic. At least I am not elitist unlike some !@#$% who believe, support and idolize the elite. At least I have my own thinking. But I am scared I'll suddenly turn elitist, which I vowed never to become one. Elite and elitist is separate though, elite means the creme de la creme, elitist means idolizing the creme de la creme.

I still don't like english songs. Some too boring, long-winded, repeated, unskillfully done. Either way translating that song yesterday was quite difficult but I tried my best. Not that I had the intention of getting a prize given that there were so many Chinese scholars that are damn pro in Chinese and probably memorized many dictionaries. But well, given the encouragement of K.I.S.S (korea, disbanded) everything will have a start. Including good things.

* meeh-
8:02 AM

Sunday, July 18, 2010

K.I.S.S korean girls group is good lol. though i must say the song was not that difficult in terms of pitch maybe except during when the song reaches the emotional part. But the plot maker is talented. Very. For the mv at least even though one of them din die he still could bring out the emotional part to make people cry. Zia was like so sad about the song and named her fb album over it haha. Slow montion part was good. Good manipulation of feelings, really touching. Though I find it a pity that they separate so fast, some of the pioneers to ur kpop which might never be so popular if not thanks to them. Wouldn't fit inside a 3 minute song, too short and draggy if you just extend it for a 90 minute movie, so 8 minutes should be fine.

* meeh-
7:44 AM

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Every night listening to the same nice love songs, just try to get myself optimistic for tomorrow.

It's difficult for others to see how music helps save one from complete collapse for the time being. It may come soon, I plead for it. Fast collapse, easier recovery. I don't want to have to care anymore, let's return to being strangers. No more hate, and I can disappear from you. Let us both separate forever.

Sarcasm, one I wish I can solve with a voice instead of complete collapse. I look forward to the future where we divert paths, no more involvement with each other. Looked forward for this, look forward to the next, where I realise things, people are not as they seem. I find it tiring.

真希望有机会唱这段歌词

“我不难过了
甚至真心希望你能幸福
当我了解
你只活在记忆里头
我不恨你了
甚至原谅你的残酷理由“

* meeh-
9:27 AM

Friday, July 16, 2010

I was watching about how North Koreans make the rockets rise using placards, people there clapping are like the no. of people in erm Jurong West or Tampines. the scene seemed shocking. And no i still find it difficult to believe that Nikita Khruschev (or whoever he is) was denied entry to disneyland.

Anyway my gpa sucks it's like everything around border line of missing the grade just 3.67. But luckily thanks to the strong influences from ppl around me that is very encouraging for me to study harder since all da elitist are surrounding me. One to the North, One next to me, the other two behind, good study environment though can copy either one by leaning to right, forward or turn the head behind. At least the marks are more or less balanced, all got 3.6 except history 4.0. Sad case no of 4.0s collapsed from 2 to 1, 3.6 went to 5. But same overall grade point average.

Apparently I seem to be a very bad group member in projects with people classifying me with ramana. Why so? I am waiting for the breakthrough that must occur soon. With that breakthrough, I want to be classified back into where I belong, not one that is meant to be criticized for unreasonable causes. Once the breakthrough occurs, I don't think I'll need to worry about anything else yet.

* meeh-
9:35 AM

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Wah now so fast past midnight le. I thought tablets supposed to make you drowsy.

Anyway I was playing tarot cards just now out of boredom, and apparently the things inside seem quite re-assuring. Conflict will result in success. So on and so forth. But some were quite saddening (of course, if there's no saddening part then it's fake.) Listening to the same music again and again, I wonder how I manage not to get bored yet. Coming this afternoon is what i dislike. Apparently unlike other people who just dislike it I seem to hate it to the core, making me despo for anything but to get far far away from it. Not just fear but also shock, pain, temper. I rather starve, get myself ill to avoid it. The fear I am experiencing, especially having a failed attempt once destroyed nearly every piece of hope i had. The miracle I hope it happens soon, I really don't want to wait for any more delays (as said by the tarot card). Then I can walk on a new path.

* meeh-
9:18 AM

Sunday, July 11, 2010

As the days go past I apparently don't understand sarcasm. I find it so difficult to rebut others that criticize. I was tempted to use vulgarities, but no I din coz u're not even worth those words, at least those words if used correctly can be seen as some form of a proper rebuttal but merely unorganized.

Leave me, you were not even with me at the start. Ignore me, that's how I prefer it, go ahead. Ridicule all you wish, I turn a blind eye. Deep down I hate you, hoping my anger will boil you to disappear.

If you stop it now I can hate you less and heal the wounds you caused and have a better front in front of you. Dormant volcanoes are all the more dangerous, because they store and keep energy for a long time. I ain't even dormant because I force myself to keep controlling my emotions no matter what. Said to be extinct, but quietly dormant. I just want to see how long I can continue controlling my emotions against your moronic behaviour. You push it to the limit, and I wouldn't be able to control my emotions, see what I'll do then.

* meeh-
7:48 AM

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Can't believe I'm saying this, but I am feeling quite sad the lee cherh not teaching us le. At least she let us do some illegal things. By right should be chinese rep wen jun most sad, coz his 'grandma' (aileen chor) left on wednesday, then on thursday lee cherh also not teaching our class le, must be a double blow.

Today lee cherh brought tang lao shi to come and learn how to guan the class. In 6B 08 last time relief teachers were keep changing right after mdm ong never teach. Then change teachers again and again. Last year Geog at least chor seng was stable. Then after that keep changing teachers. Now Chinese is frightening. I do hope tang lao shi is nice and teach well.

* meeh-
6:53 AM

Friday, July 2, 2010

lol i love '我是一只小小鸟‘ by 丁当，the note is damn high sia. and the story is very touching. Shows her difficulties of having singing as a career, what she gave up, all that. wonderful singing.

* meeh-
6:29 AM