; simplicity-

Friday, September 11, 2009

Sigh, time flies. Now is already Term 3 school holidays already ending. But when I remember that school ends at week 8 term 4, I just get so happy. I can go online for like 2 or 3 hours without realising it. Seriously. Then the music go like don't know how many times already I still repeat it. Sigh. I am getting tired. Very tired. I am quite tired of facebook already. I feel like quitting, yet I can't. I think I'll just pause it for 3 days or something. Now is already 11.43pm. 60 hours to school again. The same cycle which I get so tired of it. I keep thinking ahead, then everything seems to be perfect. I think of when I graduate from sec school, jc, uni. I wonder, why am I being so tired? I know I can't end it by jumping off a ledge. I just feel so negative, everything comes against me. I simply have no idea why all this is happening to me. Why do I feel it to be so normal, for vulgarities to be coming against me? Why does it seem so normal, to be hated by so many people? It's just painful feeling like that. How come do I feel like that?
It's tiring acting as though nothing happened. I have had enough of acting. I have had enough of being ridiculed, hated for no apparent reason. I really hope that this will end. I realise that I have not changed this whole time. Not a bit. I am still as tired, as acting as before. I have never changed at all when I thought I had. A bottle of water in a metal container, heated and full with heat, once that heat is gone, back to square one. I just feel like I am just excess, simply extra.
Being real tired, real tired of this never-ending show. I have to act that I have no idea what is going on. I have to act that I don't care of these attacks. I have had enough of it. It has been tired acting for so long. This painful memory is very painful,
这场戏几时结束

* meeh-
9:12 AM