; simplicity-

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Ok I've got to buy some things when I'm out of the country. Certainly not going to Mexico.

B'dae gift for sarah, Very belated B'dae gift for ai li si, also belated b'dae gift for YY. I wonder if have anything else I have to buy for my classmates...

Ok 11.45 pm now. 15 min before midnight.

Wishlist for Short Term

1. Improve my GPA to at least 3.4 for PR 2 or I'll fall into a Great Depression
2. Have more hangouts per month, instead of the current pathetic less than 1.5 times of hangout per month to 2.
3. Japanese score must go up. If don't go up I can't rely on it as a safety net.
4. Less addiction to facebook. From approx 1.5 hours a day to max 1 hour.
5. Watch the news more often. Now everyday all dun watch.
6. Go for the 6B class gathering! Most important!
7. Get done with all my homework by week 3. Or else I will burn my homework.
8. Get a nice cert for SMO. I am not accepting COP again.

Wishlist for longer term(more than 1/2 year)
1. Continue getting 4.0 for Math
2. Read more books.
3. Compose more songs for my classmate couples!

Nothing else.
Regards,
Lionel

* meeh-
8:28 AM

Ok listening to songs obviously doesn't make me tired, but it's the CCA camp that comes up next week.

I feel like shouting a total of 100-1 vulgarities right in front of their faces, because I can't pon it or the teacher will start coming.

My 3 days of ever-lasting misery, pain and torture are coming. But all I can do is to hope my flu or an athsma attack that hasn't came for ages will come. Really desparate. Then I want it to go off at the 3rd's night or the 4th's morning. I really want to go to the class gathering. I hope that it doesn't fall on the camp's day. Please. Tolong. Or I'll experiment on my cold and use double medicine. Then I let it become the most powerful weapon in history, much more powerful than a natural disaster.

Regards,
International Republic of DPRK

* meeh-
6:35 AM

Saturday, May 30, 2009

I wonder how and why people fall in love so damn easily.
Yes, I am not supposed to be so busybody about others, but I still want to talk about it.
I seriously don't understand it.
WJM and someone else is one of them...and many others too.
Maybe it's because I am in a school where love relationships don't happen and the school's motto is 'love after 16'.
I believe very little in love relationships nowondays. I seem to only care about money, grades and fun. No longer towards love relationships. I don't believe they will last long.
When about at this time last year I was believing so much in it.
No more.
But I wonder why my classmates believe so much in it.
Both ex and current.
What's the reason for them to compromise so much for their crush?
In their doing they can even hurt themselves.
The other half hardly appreciates it. Then when they break up, the other half feels almost nothing at all. Like being so used to a break-up. I know people who have cried over their break-up, I also know some that turned completedly emo over it. They can cut themselves with a penknife times and times. Some can even lose the joy of living, and death can seem like the only alternative for them. These are just the usual scenarios after break-ups.

Therefore, I no longer believe in love relationships

(Sounds like some Philo Lesson)

* meeh-
7:05 AM

Friday, May 29, 2009

My scores are really freaking low and I really have to improve. Last time at P6 even if I slack everyday I can still keep up with the pace, but now although I slack quite little but I can't keep up with the pace. Like a bullet train chasing a rocket. But now the rocket has stopped, but I have to keep studying. However other than studying I still have many things up on the holidays(probably the most in all my holidays). So I really must study hard and then play without fear and guilt if the homework isn't completed.

Enough of Blogging for today

* meeh-
7:09 AM

Ever since I got my first formal interaction with music, I have found that it is so very hard to let the tears flow despite the fact that the music is very touching.

Have I gone emotional?

I've just realised that I haven't cried for a very long time, although there were times that I felt like doing so.
In the past it was so easy to have my emotional feeling disappear.
Now it's so difficult. Even crying seems like a difficult chore to me.

Maybe it's because I have learnt one of the methods to survival: tolerance
Even when I feel like hacking someone on the chest, I get so emotional that I just keep a smile.

My problem is definitely worse than the Math rep's. Definitely. Even though he was the most emo in the class but at least he hasn't cut himself yet and not yet cried at home. But I have. All the time. In my heart, which is the worst place. Anyway I have decided that once my CCA camp is over, I will return to normal.

Or is it going to be a one-way ticket?

* meeh-
2:11 AM

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Today is another BORING day.
Very unusual to have such a boring day.
But never mind.
I really need to have more people to tag, this blog seems unknown but it's not like my other blogs that have failed. Nothing interesting today. All I know that I have a good night's of sleep for tonight because my Japanese test got 35/50! First time in 3 tests, and I am officially disclosing my marks for my 3rd lang.
CA1: 17.5/45 (FAILED)
CA2: 24/35 (The amount of time spent paid off, but still have room for improvement.)
CA3: 35/50! (Best score among all 3! Probably the only subject other than Math that I am around average. Finally I can have a relaxed sleep)

Ok end of blogging

* meeh-
6:29 AM

Monday, May 25, 2009

June holidays coming. So very soon. It seems like I've just taken PSLE.
But it will be one of the best holidays. Firstly I am going to escape theme park with some of the ex-6B students. Next I have planned 7 days of anti-work, only relax and play session. Then I will mug for at least 15 days. Then do project work with my classmates. The rest of the days I have other activities.
So simple holiday schedule. Last December was much more simpler.
Ok back to my blgging main point.
Today, there was this group arrangement thing for history. The teacher was allowing us to get into our own groups. Then I went with a group of classmates. Some of them were like very smart so wanted by some people. Then a very pointless yet large argument arised. "Your group has so many elite people...not fair! Cannot be elitist!" Some guy that's hated by the whole class said. Then one of my group members came and said, " Oh shut up. This is fair enough already! What's your problem? Elite doing with elite and not-so-elite doing with not-so-elite works better. So the work will be much more evenly distributed." The group of either unwanted or simply not enough spaces to occupy said(of course lah, the unwanted list is very unwanted because either of attitude problems or slacking, but there was an exception who could not get in because he made his decision too late). Then this argument continued.
And continued.
Democracy did not occur in the end. It was communism. I have no personal hatred for communism if all the people are working hard. But it does not work out because some slackers and freeloaders can say," I'll send you tomorrow" forever. Some people just don't contribute not because they don't have a chance, but because they are just lazy. While others think they are very great after doing something which they should be humble about so they heck care and make sure you take them as a king.
It all now depends on a lucky draw to determine who gets into whose group.
P.S: I have not put anyone's name up because I do not want this person to feel mentally distressed in anyway due to this blog post. More importantly, I do not wish to have law suits or discrimination towards me coming for this blog post.
Time to end blogging. Gd nite

* meeh-
6:20 AM

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Currently I am try to gain control of my concentration, which I have lost in the past 5 weeks or so. Firstly I am in a place where the Japanese writing practice is not enough (Therefore very hard to find something good to do). Secondly I am in a place where I am almost the bottom in everything other than mother tongue and maths, which are just above average, when in the past at 5B/6B I was in a place where I remained the top three of the class no matter what happened. Complete difference so I have not been able to adapt to it. I could find time to revise but I feel too free from last year's busyness. And the amount of tution I have is simply not enough. Not suffcient. And in the past I had concentration for various reasons, wanting to be the elite and earning millions, to make Pei Chun proud, for my 1st crush, wanting to give my school a place among the competitions in the elite schools (managed to get into top 50 and crush one whole group of Gepers by proving that the GEP education is not neccesarily better than the mainstream). But 6 weeks ago I had almost no reason. Luckily I found a reason recently, which was to be shocking the ppl who look down on me in terms of results (which I have done so before) and force them to look up to me. Though it sounds very unnice, but at least I get my higher scores.

* meeh-
7:54 AM

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Isn't this what I have been wanting for?
Coming to a school that is so famous and welcoming(but 6B is better)?
But why do I feel so emo at times?
Why do I feel like I am one that has to be under the control of others?
Laughing when I do, it's often not genuine.
It's under my laughter where you see misery and sadness.
Where both the good scores and the friendliness simply disappears.
All I can do to make it disappear is by doing more work or an occasional trip to the arcade.
But it definitely is not enough.
I wonder whether it is me myself that's making others control me.
Even my tears can't come out when I'm alone
I am really tired from being one that is being controlled.
Really very tired...

* meeh-
6:33 AM

Most of the tests are over but I think getting back the results is the worst part. I'd rather do the exam on next Thursday or what then get it back next term. Then I can sleep well at night.

* meeh-
3:03 AM

Saturday, May 16, 2009

This is my new blog as every single of my previous blogs have failed...
Please tag

* meeh-
11:10 PM